green: (Default)
I'm doing pretty well. The medications I'm on have been good. I'm finally scheduled to see someone about my back.

DJ still isn't talking to me, but he graduated on Sunday. I was able to watch via live feed. He's signed up to go into the Air Force for 6 years. They want him for NASA or intelligence, they told him. I don't know if we can trust them, but I guess we'll see.

I miss him a lot.

My relationship with Zachary is really good though. We talk all the time, text and Facetime, and I try to support him no matter what his current passion is. It was drawing for awhile, which I could really get behind, but now he seems to be leaning more toward... gardening? I don't even know.

Meg was falling down a lot until we got to the doctor and he figured out it was vertigo from allergies. We got her on a new antihistamine and she's stopped falling.

As for me, other than the YAY MEDS working, I've been writing a lot. Unfortunately, everything I write is super long so I'm not actually posting much.

I probably left a lot out, so if you have a question just ask. I'd love some interaction.
green: (stock: balloons)
I've got almost enough to pay for my meds + food until the end of the month. Thank you for helping me out, I appreciate it so much. I have been super careful with my Percocet but now I'm out and there's a storm coming so I huuuurt! :( But I'm going to the doctor tomorrow and should get my prescriptions written - I just need a bit more to fill them. I am guessing I need about $50-$75 more and I can pay for everything.

If you can help, it would be great. my paypal is anthony.melissa (at) rocketmail (dot) com.

My youngest son has been here since Saturday now. It is so great to spend time with him. I don't think I ever told you guys about what happened during the winter holidays with DJ. I tried to write & post about it a couple of times, but I couldn't really get through it all, even in writing and taking breaks and stuff. But anyway, DJ isn't here and we're not really talking to each other, mostly because he's taken to being the Worst Teenager Ever, or fulfilling every single stereotype of hateful teenagers. It's painful, but at least Zach doesn't hate me... yet. :\
green: (teen wolf: lydia)
good thing: watching Leverage. Still on the first part of the first season. I am loving it.

bad thing: pretty much told my oldest boy he's no longer welcome here. long story. not pretty.

I think there were more things but that's what's on my mind the most.

boys are now back in south florida with their father.
green: a mother lion licking her cub (stock: mommy and cub)
I rly rly love my kids. my oldest son is in Homestuck fandom and has linked me to a site where he's been RPing an OC. actually, he tells me he has two OCs! a troll and a human, to be exact.

green: (matilda: reading)
today I'm not reading fic. which is completely off-script for me. I can't remember the last time I willingly spent a day without fanfiction. (unwillingly, sure, for doc appts and stuff, but otherwise? nope!)

instead, I'm starting on a book series today. \o/ Fablehaven, to be exact, since I've heard good stuff about it and I am secretly 8 years old. Or 8-12, as the series says it's for. (or, if you read other reviews, 8+, which I technically am!)

ALSO, today is my youngest son's 12th birthday. Gah, I wish I could keep him right here, at this stage in his life, full of wonder and not quite jaded yet. My older son is past this wonderful stage and doesn't even talk to me anymore, but Zach doesn't hate me yet. I hope he never does. I don't know if that hope is empty and misplaced, but I'm going to hold on to him as long as I can. And then... idk.

hold on to your babies for as long as you can, my friends.

(and now I'm crying so I'll just go back to reading and stuff)
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ugh. so. the youngest has a black eye. just putting that out there. edit: I didn't do it.

meg has had so many seizures today, and has fallen twice.

my oldest son is taller than I am. He's only fourteen, wtf.

also, he told me he'd never heard of LotR until a few days ago. *boggles* Steve has told me he's taking me and the boys to see the Hobbit while they're here, so at least that'll be good, right?

hi! bye!

Dec. 22nd, 2012 08:10 am
green: (teen wolf: lydia)
afk today and for most of the next two weeks. on my way to get my boys! \o/

will answer all comments and emails but as for reading and commenting in your journals, that's going to be on hold. probably. unless I can hide in my room at night. we'll see.

will probably be available for chat on and off. just expect long delays.


Dec. 20th, 2012 11:03 am
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So, this morning I wake up with two words in my brain, and I had no idea what they meant. Flotsam and jetsam. So I look it up and the Google Machine tells me that they are maritime words to describe a wreck.

Flotsam is floating wreckage of a ship or its cargo. Jetsam is part of a ship, its equipment, or its cargo that is purposefully cast overboard or jettisoned to lighten the load in time of distress and that sinks or is washed ashore - wiki

I do not know where I picked these up, but dreaming about vocabulary words is MUCH BETTER than dreaming about my ex, which is what I've been doing all week.

This post was to remind you all that [ profile] tw_holidays is still posting fics, and is possibly wrapping up soon? Many many fics have been posted so far, one of them mine (though I can't tell you which one, that would be cheating!). The reveal is January 5th.

But I should also say that [community profile] snape_potter is still posting fics for Secret Snarry Swap and some of the fics are just magnificent. I haven't had the time to read most of either of these fests, but I will say what I have read has been quality stuff. And yeah, I wrote for this fest too, and I'm floored by the reception my fic has gotten. I have NO IDEA when the reveal is, though. So I will just sit on the link to my own fic for now.

I am on the DW Love Meme here. Leave a comment or seven, leave your own name, and post about it so it gets spread 'round. I believe [personal profile] jjhunter is going to stop unscreening comments on the 23rd, so hurry. EDIT: not stopping unscreening, but it will be closed for new noms.

I do not know why I'm writing this in the Rich Text editor. Maybe I'm just too lazy to code simple HTML these days.

Boys are coming SATURDAY. \o/ \o/ \o/

(and GOOD NEWS on the TEEN WOLF front. I would like everyone to welcome my long-time friend [ profile] flaming_muse to the fandom. MWAHAHAHAHA YES. OH YES.) I feel like putting together a 'welcome to Teen Wolf fandom' packet with icons, meta, and fic recs for the newbies. I could totes do that.

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I have $138.78 in SNAP to last me until Jan. 5th. It seems like plenty, but when you factor in how much the boys eat and it's going to be five of us for two weeks ... well. I don't know.

Does anyone have some bright solutions? Healthy-ish kid-friendly CHEAP recipes? Because all I can think of is hamburger helper and mac & cheese with hotdogs. That's fine some of the time, but not for a solid two weeks. I have a recipe book with cheap recipes in it, but most of the stuff isn't all that cheap nor is it kid-friendly food.
green: (stock: typewriter)
My 'you've got kudos!' email from AO3 this morning was massive. And I didn't even post to any main comms! I've still got to post the link to the teen wolf and sterek comms. But yay, for a shortish PWP I didn't think would get much readership, The Rites of Midnight is doing really well! (I think the main reason is because it's the most popular pairing in a huge fandom, but maybe part of it at least is that it's good?)

(But what I am REALLY excited about is my TW Hols fic. Which ... still hasn't been posted. Woessss.)

But my Secret Snarry Swap fic is doing really well, too. I will tell you a secret: I am in love with the response to my Snarry. Because it's in a journal entry (3 of them, really, on IJ, DW, and LJ) and has gotten comments. Actual comments with substance. And recs! After I'm revealed as the author I will tell you about the recs. Because it's so exciting! And all without my name attached to the fic, so it's anonymous squeeing and admiration for the writing and the plot and the characterizations and the SUBSTANCE of the fic. I'm not saying I'm posting all my fics anon from now on (that would drive me nuts! I want credit!) but there's something interesting about the response from people when they don't know who I am.(You can tell I don't do anon exchanges very often)

The icons are coming along well! People have suggested some really interesting characters. (FRANNIE VECCHIO) (chrome wants me to change Vechio to Lovechild. and then I realized it's Vecchio and it wants me to change it to Pinocchio. WHAT? *adds Vecchio to dictionary*)

I'm so nervous about the boys coming. I don't know how I'll handle 13 days with them. Well, I know I'll have Ativan, but I need ideas of things to do with them. I bought new video games (which means I'll have less money for food. oops.) and hopefully that will keep them happy. There will be cooking/baking they can do with me, but I think only Zach will enjoy that while DJ reads. Or whatever it is that DJ does while he's ignoring me/the world.

I wanted to do that fandom stocking thingy but I did not. I wanted to put my name and address in for people to send me cards, but I didn't do that, either. So now it's too late and I'm feeling down about not getting things.

OH. but [personal profile] nwhepcat sent me TWO cards. And [personal profile] wesleysgirl sent me a card with Snoopy on it! Which reminds me of Xander's Snoopy dance and makes me even happier. THANK YOU, GUYS.

I keep starting and deleting an 'about me' post. some stuff about me that's too boring to take up its own post - trigger warning for mention of abuse and suicidal thoughts )


Oct. 24th, 2012 07:40 pm
green: (due south: diefenbaker)

the boy's Kindle is broken.

(this means my free xmas present to him won't actually work out)

green: (Default)
Okay, so, for xmas I'm going the illegally downloaded route, because I have no money at all.

13 year old boy has a Kindle. I'm wanting to fill it with books he'll like. I'm starting with:

The Hobbit


Leven Thumps and the Gateway to Foo (this is the 10 year old's suggestion, based on past preferences)

But I would like a lot more on there, so here is what you can do: RECOMMEND SOME BOOKS. From past experience, I know you are GREAT at this. Also, if you have advice on illegal downloading of books, give it here. I've not done it before. Movies and music, yes, but what if books are different? They're supposed to be MOBI files, right?

Ugh, and now I am thinking of asking Jerry what he's getting the 10 year old for xmas so I can buy complementary gifts. *shivers uncomfortably*

Did I mention the 10 year old wants a ghillie suit for his birthday/xmas? Mom and I are going halfsies on it so it's not too expensive.


Oct. 4th, 2012 11:56 am
green: (teen wolf: derek/stiles)
am doing much better! no more 'omg wanna die' thoughts, which is a good thing.

I've been devouring Teen Wolf fic. I have so many thoughts about this but getting them down might be hard, since I can't concentrate too well. I can concentrate enough to read, though. yay!

making peanut butter pie later today. mmm.

not that long ago, one of my teeth broke because it was ROTTEN. but yesterday I got it fixed/filled. the dentist said there was a 50/50 chance of it giving me major problems after the filling, but so far so good. mom paid. it is my xmas present.

I am worried that xmas will suck for the boys. also, zach's birthday, which is december 17th. but it's nothing I can do anything about so I'm not going to stress too badly. yet. (holidays are not about presents, but presents are nice and ... let's face it, they are expected, and also I am really embarrassed when I can't buy my kids presents)

last night I dreamed about my grandmother and my daughter living in the same nursing home. I guess I've been thinking about the possibility of meg going into group care. not soon, but one day. I can't take care of her forever. I would like my own life eventually, but thinking about it makes me feel so selfish and petty. and now I am crying. wtf.


Jun. 13th, 2012 04:52 pm
green: (person of interest: partners)
My son is amazing. I can't say enough good things about him. He's writing his own comic book! :D

I'm mainlining Person of Interest. It has everything I need to remain happy. (take one BAMF and one genius and make them partners. that's pretty much all I need.)
green: (Default)
My ex and in-laws have fucked up my visit with my sons. I was supposed to get two weeks with each of them, but now it seems that I'm only getting a week with my youngest (which means he's leaving tomorrow) and maybe two weeks if it's not unfair with the oldest boy, but will probably be 1 week instead.

I have had a fantastic time with my Zach, though.
green: (Default)
finals are over! \o/

I have TONS to do before the new year. the boys are supposed to come tomorrow for a day or so, but it's still iffy. I can never tell with my ex whether something is actually going to happen.

I had PT today and it didn't hurt as bad as the first two times. yay!
green: (Default)
[personal profile] were_duck wrote me fic. it is awesome and gerard/korse with stuff I really like in it. <-- read the warnings

my due south seekrit santa fic is awesome! it's full of supernatural stuffs and fraser is a vampire, and I don't want to spoil it by saying more. <-- guard duty, F/K

also, I got a yuletide treat! unfortunately, reading it would spoil me for the second book in the inheritance trilogy, so I have to shelve it for now. I've had Broken Kingdoms for awhile but I haven't been able to concentrate to read it, so until I can my yuletide treat will remain unread. HOWEVER, if you want to read it, it is here -->

I still haven't sent out my holiday cards.

my new therapist is HORRIBLE.

I got meds, so hopefully I'll be feeling more like myself soon.

boys left today. I got them hooked on doctor who before they left.

um, bye.
green: (stock: fitness)
One of my goals is to write in a journal every day. I'm doing it here. Lucky you!

lalalalalala )

Today I joined [community profile] exercise_every_day which is a brand spanking new comm here on DW.

[personal profile] rydra_wong made an awesome post in [community profile] lifting_heavy_things about free strength training.


DJ is going back home tomorrow. I'll miss him so much. This last month has been great having him with me.
green: a mother lion licking her cub (stock: mommy and cub)
I have to get up at 6:30 in the morning to get ready and then drive to Ft. Walton to Meg's regular neurologist. Ugh. DNW to get up so early. :(

My back was hurting so I took 2 Lortab and now I'm feeling NO pain whatsoever. In fact, I'm pretty stoned. The only problem with the Lortab is that it makes me itch. Don't ask me why, it's just a weird side effect. Itchy itchy itchy.

DJ is going home on Friday. I'll miss him, but he's pretty homesick.
green: (true blood: eric animated)
Got my e-cigarette in the mail yesterday! Wish me lots of luck with my quitting.

T came over yesterday. We had a great visit together.

DJ is homesick and wants to go back to his dad's.

Making friends on FetLife! Hopefully will meet someone in person soon. I'm looking forward to making more RL friends.


green: (Default)

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