hope is the thing with feathers

so TECHNICALLY I have finished my first novel-length book. it doesn't feel done though. I have a lot of editing to do. but I did, in fact, write a book.

It's NaNo month and I still haven't cracked 10k words. It's... pretty pathetic. But I'm rewriting a book I wrote earlier this year, and it's slow going because it's kinda boring, tbh. I'm changing it from third person to first, with alternating POV, but the story itself is already written. It's boring to do this. I'm a pantser at heart, and I'm so, so bored with already knowing where the story goes.

Does anyone have any advice on keeping my story feeling fresh as I rewrite? Or keeping me sane and interested?

gosh, words are so hard sometimes

sometimes I stare at blank docs

for entire days

and sometimes I write and it's work but the words do come

and sometimes I can just put the words down, one after the other, and it's so great.

yesterday and today have been great, but ugh. the days before

good news for a change:

I met my GYWO goal for the year! 150k, done and dusted. It was a revamped goal since my first was 200k but the dumpster fire that is 2020 happened.

I'm not sure if I'm gonna try Nano this year or not. Probably I will just write as much as I can and forget the 50k target.

This pandemic bullshit has really affected me creatively but I'm clawing my way back. I had a productive chat with a friend about my book yesterday, and today I wrote 1175 words of my FTH Sterek fic.

Mom broke her toe and refuses to stay off it. She keeps *doing* things. At this rate, it will never heal.

edit: I almost forgot. I'm cleaning my room. it's gonna be a huge endeavor so wish me luck. so far I've thrown away 2 garbage bags worth of stuff and filled 3 large boxes full of clothes for the thrift shop. I bought a new rug to keep me motivated.

I wrote about 600 words of Guardian fic yesterday, so yay for that. It mostly needs to be rewritten, but I haven't written any Guardian fic in months so I'm still feeling pretty good about it.

I am writing my Steter Reverse Bang! My posting date is June 12th, but I'm sure it'll be done in time. :D

Last night I wrote 1250 words on it, and this morning I wrote 821. I'm on fire! \o/

yesterday I wrote 1500 words of the Steter Reverse Bang fic I thought I wouldn't write. Mal calls it erotic horror. If I can figure out where it is going and then get it there in about 3k words, I'll be golden. Will that happen? PROBABLY NOT.

this morning I wrote 500+ words of the Guardian twin telepathy fic I started the other day. no idea where it's going.

and now I need to get Meg up for the day. and once she's gone, I'm gonna try to watch Good Omens. :D I've been looking forward to it SO BAD, but I'm TIRED AF and easily distracted.

This morning I posted Welcome to the Fire, Zhao Yunlan's POV of what I'm lovingly calling drunk night.

And today I wrote about 1280 words of Shen Wei's POV of drunk night, moving into the morning after. Shen Wei is ridiculous, he really is. I love him to pieces but he can be an idiot. Pining! Misunderstandings! EEEEEE! I showed what I wrote to Bee, wondering if maybe there's TOO MUCH pining. Her response was like, "There's only too little pining or the correct amount of pining. There is no such thing as too much pining."

WHAT CAN YOU DO

I finished my Sterek auction fic, and am now just awaiting beta. I don't know how happy I am with the fic. It was supposed to be 10-15k and ended up a little over 20k, but to me it still feels rushed. I could probably have written 10k more of it to develop the relationship some more, but NOPE, not doing it.

Now majoline is going to suggest I change all my comma placement, and I'm going to ignore half of the suggestions because my style relies on misuse of commas and a lack thereof. :P Hopefully I caught all the plot holes and repeated words/phrases and stuff like that on my own.

So now I need to start my second (and last) auction fic, which will be Steter. I have a basic idea of what I'm doing, but I don't have a solid plot yet. I have the scenario but not the structure.

And then once I'm done with that last auction fic, I can be free of Teen Wolf and I can write all the Guardian fics I want! I have a plot bunny doc where I keep my ideas, adding to it as I come up with new things, and I have so many ideas already! I wish I had more straightforward Weilan ideas, though. I guess you can't help what your id comes up with. Unless...

...maybe Ye Zun is mind controlling me to get me to write him some more happy endings?