1/16/2026 Valle Vista Staging Area Rocky Ridge Trail
Jan. 16th, 2026 03:20 pmI encountered no school traffic at 9:40 am, which was lovely. I'll try to go a little earlier next time, and walk out a lot further.
Today's frivolous low-stakes question is: if following a recipe, to what extent do you consider "mixed lettuces", "mixed greens", and "mixed leaf salad" synonymous?
We spent the end of October and whole of November rolling out improvements across the site—from multiple fixes to the Download and Chapter Index menus on small screens to refreshing our footer and error pages to link to the status page. We also made an important security change: password resets can now only be requested using an email address when logged out. For some exciting news, we also finished our work making AO3 emails translatable! We’re now going to target other areas of AO3 for internationalization.
Special thanks and welcome to first-time contributors Danaël / Rever, Daniel Haven, Edgar San Martin, Jr, Jennifer He, Kiyazz, Lisa Huang, mgettytehan, ProtonDev, quen, ryeleap, Snehal Mane, and TangkoNoAi!
On October 28, we made some small changes to a variety of areas of the site, including updating our footer and error pages to link to the status page.
On November 5, we made some improvements to the admin side of AO3 and deployed the first of what would be several changes to fix issues with the Chapter Index and Download menus on small screens.
On November 8, we deployed a single-issue release to fix menus having problems on multi-chapter works.
On November 17, we deployed a grab bag release targeting bugs and improvements in a variety of areas. We also made a change to improve account security by only allowing password resets using an email address (as compared to a username) if you’re logged out. We announced this change on social media as well to get the word out.
Our November 25 release was a big milestone: all existing AO3 emails have been internationalized and are ready to be translated!
(Our deploy script accidentally bumped us ahead, so this ended up being released as 0.9.445 instead of 0.9.444.)
Our November 30 release focused on changes submitted by first-time contributors to our project!
At first glance, my résumé has enough to tantalize a recruiter for America’s Gestapo-in-waiting: I enlisted in the Army straight out of high school and deployed to Afghanistan twice with the 82nd Airborne Division. After I got out, I spent a few years doing civilian analyst work. With a carefully arranged, skills-based résumé—one which omitted my current occupation—I figured I could maybe get through an initial interview.Click through to read the whole thing.
The catch, however, is that there’s only one “Laura Jedeed” with an internet presence, and it takes about five seconds of Googling to figure out how I feel about ICE, the Trump administration, and the country’s general right-wing project. My social media pops up immediately, usually with a preview of my latest posts condemning Trump’s unconstitutional, authoritarian power grab. Scroll down and you’ll find articles with titles like “What I Saw in LA Wasn’t an Insurrection; It Was a Police Riot” and “Inside Mike Johnson’s Ties to a Far-Right Movement to Gut the Constitution.” Keep going for long enough and you might even find my dossier on AntifaWatch, a right-wing website that lists alleged members of the supposed domestic terror organization. I am, to put it mildly, a less-than-ideal recruit.
In short, I figured—at least back then—that my military background would be enough to get me in the door for a good look around ICE’s application process, and then even the most cursory background check would get me shown that same door with great haste.
[...]
I completely missed the email when it came. I’d kept an eye on my inbox for the next few days, but I’d grown lax when nothing came through. But then, on Sept. 3, it popped up.
“Please note that this is a TENTATIVE offer only, therefore do not end your current employment,” the email instructed me. It then listed a series of steps I’d need to quickly take. I had 48 hours to log onto USAJobs and fill out my Declaration for Federal Employment, then five additional days to return the forms attached to the email. Among these forms: driver’s license information, an affidavit that I’ve never received a domestic violence conviction, and consent for a background check. And it said: “If you are declining the position, it is not necessary to complete the action items listed below.”
As I mentioned, I’d missed the email, so I did exactly none of these things.
And that might have been where this all ended—an unread message sinking to the bottom of my inbox—if not for an email LabCorp sent three weeks later. “Thank you for confirming that you wish to continue with the hiring process,” it read. (To be clear, I had confirmed no such thing.) “Please complete your required pre-employment drug test.”
The timing was unfortunate. Cannabis is legal in the state of New York, and I had partaken six days before my scheduled test. Then again, I hadn’t smoked much; perhaps with hydration I could get to the next stage. Worst-case scenario, I’d waste a small piece of ICE’s gargantuan budget. I traveled to my local LabCorp, peed in a cup, and waited for a call telling me I’d failed.
Nine days later, impatience got the best of me. For the first time, I logged into USAJobs and checked my application to see if my drug test had come through. What I actually saw was so implausible, so impossible, that at first I did not understand what I was looking at.
Somehow, despite never submitting any of the paperwork they sent me—not the background check or identification info, not the domestic violence affidavit, none of it—ICE had apparently offered me a job.
According to the application portal, my pre-employment activities remained pending. And yet, it also showed that I had accepted a final job offer and that my onboarding status was “EOD”—Entered On Duty, the start of an enlistment period. I moused over the exclamation mark next to “Onboarding” and a helpful pop-up appeared. “Your EOD has occurred. Welcome to ICE!”
I clicked through to my application tracking page. They’d sent my final offer on Sept. 30, it said, and I had allegedly accepted. “Welcome to Ice. … Your duty location is New York, New York. Your EOD was on Tuesday, September 30th, 2025.”
By all appearances, I was a deportation officer. Without a single signature on agency paperwork, ICE had officially hired me.
you can call me mike or joker!
she/her | mid-20s | neurodivergent & disabled
☆ photographer ☆ writer ☆ artist ☆
⚠ !! adult content warning !! ⚠
journal is +18 onlymy writing often explores heavy, dark themes: incest, rape/noncon, dubious consent, age gaps, toxic/power dynamics, physical abuse, psychological torture, kidnapping, drugging, and yandere elements. i also have a deep-seated interest in forensic and crime procedurals, high fantasy settings, and intricate worldbuilding.
i use this journal as a safe space to explore these dark tropes and "deadly" dynamics. i am not responsible for what minors may stumble across.
fiction ≠ reality | dead dove: do not eat
thank you for reading! ✿
last updated: january 2026

Kodak did a brisk business over the holidays with their meme camera, the Charmera, which is tiny enough to fit on a key chain and takes deeply lofi photos, especially in low light. But it cost $30 and as it happens I do need a keychain, so I thought I would try one out and see what I thought.
Inasmuch as every camera must be inaugurated with a picture of a cat, here is the very first photo out of the camera:

And here is a picture of me, with said camera, in my bathroom mirror.

These pictures are pretty terrible! But admittedly they are also inside my house where the lighting is not great. What happens when we go outside?

Nope, still pretty terrible.
Which is to be expected, as this thing comes with a 1.6 megapixel sensor (1440×1080), and the sensor itself is likely the size of a pinhead. You’re not taking pictures with this camera for high fidelity. You’re taking them for glitchy lo-res fun, in as good of lighting as you can get. This also had video, at the same resolution, but you know what, I’m not even going to bother.

In addition to the primary color mode the Charmera has other “fun” modes including ones that add frame and goofy pixel art to your picture, which, you know, okay, why not. You need to bring along your own micro memory card, and it’s a real pain in the ass to get it in, so you will probably never take it out (you can connect it to your computer via USB, which is also how it’s charged), but once it’s in you can take effectively infinite number of pictures because the individual image files are so small.
The UI is not great, the little screen on the back of the camera is too tiny to be of much use, and quite honestly I’m not sure what the use case of this thing is, other than to have it, and possibly give it to an 8-year-old so they can run around taking pictures without running the risk of them damaging anything valuable, like your phone or a real camera.
But, I mean, as long as you know all that going in, yeah, it’s kind of fun. And for $30(ish) bucks, not a huge outlay for trendily pixellated photos. I’ve made worse purchases recently.
— JS
FYI friendlies, we will have Monday off for what we assume is The Last Martin Luther King Jr. Day, but we’ll have normal weekend posting and Dok will write you something nice to comment around. In the meantime, here’s what we wrote at you today!
I wrote some tabs. They were fine.
This is the most embarrassing thing that has EVER HAPPENED.
Even just this picture is funny, remember when Stacey Dash went all rightwing? LOL.
Even Karoline Leavitt knew “cancel the elections” might be an unwise thing to say out loud.
This was a very good speech.
Add to all Candace Owens’s other bizarre theories “being wrong about cats.”
Who’s ready for a drink?
Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. We had an … interesting customer show up a week or so ago at the bar who inspired this cocktail. You get all types at a bar, and sometimes dealing with the “characters” inspires some stories. This one’s bitter, complex, and very very strong. It might not be the drink we want, but it’s definitely the drink we need. Let’s make The Worst Jack and Coke you’ve Ever Had. Here’s the recipe.
4-6 oz Moxie soda
1 1/2 oz Old Grand-Dad Straight Bourbon
½ oz Amaretto
6-8 shakes Angostura Bitters
Lime wedge
Add all ingredients to a large old-fashioned glass with ice. Squeeze a lime wedge over the cocktail. Stir. Drink.
Hemingway’s isn’t a dive bar by any stretch of the imagination, but it is one of the few dedicated bars in downtown Medina, Ohio. And it’s open later than most of the places off the town square. We’ve had a few women drag their Tinder dates down into our basement speakeasy. Sometimes the course of true love runs smooth. Sometimes it doesn’t.
A few weeks ago, a fellow with “TATER” tattooed across his face showed up at the bar with a date. He insisted on taking a photo of himself with one of our female bartenders. She declined. He got upset. Our floor manager handled the situation like a pro, but it was a little tense for a while. Eventually, he stormed out. Instead of tipping, he wrote “WORST JACK AND COKE I’VE EVER HAD” across his bill. We’re probably going to have T-shirts with that slogan printed up at some point. It’s a fantastic motto for the bar.
I decided to take the whole sorry incident and use it as inspiration. I wanted to write The Worst Jack and Coke You’ve Ever Had — a bourbon and cola that a bartender would like, full of complex and bitter flavors, the sort of thing a mixologist would savor. It was also important to keep it simple and use dive bar ingredients. And strong. It needed to be very, very strong. I’ve been reading the news all week like the rest of you. The need for strong drink is urgent.
Moxie was immediately my first choice for the soda in this flavor bomb. The official state soda of Maine is an acquired taste at best — sort of like root beer, but with a long, lingering bitter finish. That bitterness comes from gentian root, the same bittering agent as Angostura bitters. A heavy-handed shake of Angostura made the Moxie more complex and interesting. (I’m a fan of soda and bitters in general; they’re my go-to drink for Dry January.) The choice of booze in this glass was a bit more challenging. I hate Jack Daniels, and Brown-Forman is on my shit list in any event. I tried upping the Angostura to a full ounce. Gross. I tried Fernet Branca. Also bad. I considered Malort. Sanity reigned. I left that bottle unopened. Eventually, I decided to use Old Grand-Dad, a 100 proof high-rye bourbon that isn’t too sweet or peppery. It’s as “smooth” as industrial sandpaper. Perfect for this cocktail.
With all these bitter ingredients, a little sweetness was in order to make the drink pleasant. Jack Daniels has a distinct stone-fruit finish that I dislike, but should probably be present in a glass billing itself as “the worst Jack and Coke.” A touch of amaretto smoothed things out and made the drink vaguely resemble Jack … assuming you could work past the herbal bitterness. The end result doesn’t taste a thing like Lemmy’s drink of choice. It’s stronger, tougher, and more bitter — a perfect drink for 2026.
Let’s talk ingredients:
Moxie: There are a lot of really interesting small-batch sodas on the market. Ohio loves its bizarre pop flavors; hopefully, you can browse through your local candy store or gaming shop and find this gem of a soda. The bitterness is unlike anything else. That’s probably for the best.
Amaretto: Amaretto uses apricot kernels, not almonds, to create its distinctive flavor. I use it whenever I want a “nutty” flavor in a drink without pinning down an exact kind of nut. In this case, it emulates the vague peachiness of Jack Daniels nicely.
Old Grand-Dad: This bourbon is a Jim Beam product, and surprisingly better than its label suggests — the “Old Grand-Dad” in question is Basil Hayden, one of the all-time greats of Kentucky bourbon. Use your bourbon of choice in this glass.
Angostura bitters: Use a lot of this. Angostura uses gentian root, the same bittering agent as Moxie, to create its distinctive flavor. The two go well together.
My home bar is Hemingway’s Underground, the hottest cocktail bar in pretty little Medina, Ohio. I’m behind the stick Wednesday-Saturday, 4-10. Last call’s at midnight. Swing on by and I’ll make a drink for you … or anything else from our little Happy Hour here at Wonkette.
OPEN THREAD!
P.F. Chisholm, A Suspicion of Silver. Ninth in its mystery series, set late in the reign of Elizabeth I/in the middle of when James I and VI was still just James VI. I don't recommend starting it here, because there was a moment when I wailed, "no, not [name]!" when you won't have a very strong sense of that character from just this book. Pretty satisfying for where it is in its series, though, still enjoying. Especially as they have returned to the north, which I like much better.
Joan Coggin, Who Killed the Curate?. A light British mid-century mystery, first in its series and I'm looking forward to reading more. If you were asked to predict what a book published in 1944 with this title would be like, you would have this book absolutely bang on the nose, so if you read that title and went "ooh fun," go get it, and if you read that title and thought "oh gawd not another of those," you're not wrong either. I am very much in the "ooh fun" camp.
Matt Collins with Roo Lewis, Forest: A Journey Through Wild and Magnificent Landscapes. Photos and essays about forests, not entirely aided by its printer printing it a little toward the sepia throughout. Still a relaxing book if you are a Nice Books About Nice Trees fan, which I am.
John Darnielle, This Year: A Book of Days (365 Songs Annotated). When I first saw John Darnielle/The Mountain Goats live, I recognized him. I don't mean that I knew him before, I mean that I taught a lot of people like him physics labs once upon a time: people who had seen a lot of shit and now would like to learn some nice things about quantum mechanics please. Anyway this book was fun and interesting and confirmed that Darnielle is exactly who you'd think he was from listening to the Mountain Goats all this time.
Nadia Davids, Cape Fever. A short mildly speculative novel about a servant girl in Cape Town navigating life with a controlling and unpleasant employer. Beautifully written and gentle in places you might not have thought possible. Looking forward to whatever else Davids does.
Djuna, Counterweight. Weird space elevator novella (novel? very short one if so) in a highly corporate Ruritanian world with strong Korean cultural influences (no surprise as this is in translation from Korean). I think this slipped by a lot of SFF people and maybe shouldn't have.
Margaret Frazer, This World's Eternity. Kindle. I continue to dislike the short stories that result from Frazer trying to write Shakespeare's version of historical figures rather than what she thinks they would actually have been like. Does that mean I'll stop reading these? Hmm, I think there's only one left.
Drew Harvell, The Ocean's Menagerie: How Earth's Strangest Creatures Reshape the Rules of Life. If you like the subgenre There's Weird Stuff In The Ocean, which I do, this is a really good one of those. Gosh is there weird stuff in the ocean. Very satisfying.
Rupert Latimer, Murder After Christmas. Another light British murder mystery from 1944, another that is basically exactly what you think it is. What a shame he didn't have the chance to write a lot more.
Wen-Yi Lee, When They Burned the Butterfly. Gritty and compelling, small gods and teenage girl gangs in 1970s Singapore. Singular and great. Highly recommended.
Karen Lord, Annalee Newitz, and Malka Older, eds., We Will Rise Again: Speculative Stories and Essays on Protest, Resistance, and Hope. There's some really lovely stuff in here, and a wide variety of voices. Basically this is what you would want this kind of anthology to be.
Diarmaid MacCulloch, Lower Than the Angels: A History of Sex and Christianity. I don't pick your subtitles, authors. You and your editors are doing that. So when you claim to be a history of sex and Christianity...that is an expectation you have set. And when you don't include the Copts or the Nestorians or nearly anything about the Greek or Russian Orthodox folks and then you get to the 18th and 19th centuries and sail past the Shakers and the free love Christian communes...it is not my fault that I grumble that your book is in no way a history of sex and Christianity, you're the one that claimed it was that and then really wanted to do a history of semi-normative Western Christian sex among dominant populations. What a disappointment.
Robert MacFarlane and Jackie Morris, The Lost Spells and The Lost Words (reread). I accidentally got both of these instead of just one, but they're both brief and poetic about nature vocabulary, a good time without being a big commitment.
Robert MacFarlane, Underland: A Deep Time Journey. This is one of those broad-concept pieces of nonfiction, with burial mounds but also mycorrhizal networks. MacFarlane's prose is always readable, and this is a good time.
David Narrett, The Cherokees: In War and At Peace, 1670-1840. And again: I did not choose your subtitle, neighbor. So when you claim that your history goes through 1840...and then everything after 1796 is packed into a really brief epilogue...and I mean, what could have happened to the Cherokees after 1796 but before 1840, surely it couldn't be [checks notes] oh, one of the major events in their history as a people, sure, no, what difference could that make. Seriously, I absolutely get not wanting to write about the Trail of Tears. But then don't tell people you're writing about the Trail of Tears. Honestly, 1670-1800, who could quibble with that. But in this compressed epilogue there are paragraphs admonishing us not to forget about...people we have not learned about in this book and will have some trouble learning about elsewhere because Cherokee histories are not thick on the ground. Not as disappointing as the MacCulloch, but still disappointing.
Tim Palmer, The Primacy of Doubt: From Quantum Physics to Climate Change, How the Science of Uncertainty Can Help Us Understand Our Chaotic World. I found this to be a comfort read, which I think a lot of people won't if they haven't already gone through things like disproving hidden variables as a source of quantum uncertainty. But it'll still be interesting--maybe more so--and the stuff he worked on about climate physics is great.
Henry Reece, The Fall: Last Days of the English Republic. If you want a general history, that's the Alice Hunt book I read last fortnight. This is a more specifically focused work about the last approximately two years, the bit between Cromwell's death and the Restoration. Also really well done, also interesting, but doing a different thing. You'll probably get more out of this if you have a solid grasp on the general shape of the period first.
Randy Ribay, The Reckoning of Roku. As regular readers can attest, I mostly don't read media tie-ins--mostly just not interested. But F.C. Yee's Avatar: the Last Airbender work was really good, so I thought, all right, why not give their next author a chance. I'm glad I did. This is a fun YA fantasy novel that would probably work even if you didn't know the Avatar universe but will be even better if you do.
Madeleine E. Robins, The Doxie's Penalty. Fourth in a series of mysteries, but it's written so that you could easily start here. Well-written, well-plotted, generally enjoyable. I was thinking of rereading the earlier volumes of the series, and I'm now more, not less, motivated to do so.
Georgia Summers, The Bookshop Below. I feel like the cover of this was attempting to sell it as a cozy. It is not a cozy. It is a fantasy novel that is centered on books and bookshops, but it is about as cozy as, oh, say, Ink Blood Sister Scribe in that direction. And this is good, not everything with books in it is drama-free, look at our current lives for example. Sometimes it's nice to have a fantasy adventure that acknowledges the importance of story in our lives, and this is one of those times.
Adrian Tchaikovsky, Lives of Bitter Rain. This is not a novella. It is a set of vignettes of backstory from a particular character in this series. It does not hang together except that, sure, I'm willing to buy that these things happened in this order. I like this series--it was not unpleasant reading--but do not go in expecting more than what it is.
Iida Turpeinen, Beasts of the Sea. A slim novel in translation from Finnish, spanning several eras of attitudes toward natural history in general and the Steller's sea cow in specific. Vivid and moving.
Brenda Wineapple, Ecstatic Nation: Confidence, Crisis, and Compromise, 1848-1877. The nation in question is the US, in case you were wondering. This was a generally quite good book about the middle of the 19th century in the US, except of course that that's a pretty big and eventful topic, so all sorts of things are going to have to get left out. But she did her very best to hit the high spots culturally as well as politically, so overall it was the most satisfying bug crusher I've read so far this year.
We spent the end of October and whole of November rolling out improvements across the site—from multiple fixes to the Download and Chapter Index menus on small screens to refreshing our footer and error pages to link to the status page. We also made an important security change: password resets can now only be requested using an email address when logged out. For some exciting news, we also finished our work making AO3 emails translatable! We're now going to target other areas of AO3 for internationalization.
Special thanks and welcome to first-time contributors Danaël / Rever, Daniel Haven, Edgar San Martin, Jr, Jennifer He, Kiyazz, Lisa Huang, mgettytehan, ProtonDev, quen, ryeleap, Snehal Mane, and TangkoNoAi!
On October 28, we made some small changes to a variety of areas of the site, including updating our footer and error pages to link to the status page.
On November 5, we made some improvements to the admin side of AO3 and deployed the first of what would be several changes to fix issues with the Chapter Index and Download menus on small screens.
On November 8, we deployed a single-issue release to fix menus having problems on multi-chapter works.
On November 17, we deployed a grab bag release targeting bugs and improvements in a variety of areas. We also made a change to improve account security by only allowing password resets using an email address (as compared to a username) if you're logged out. We announced this change on social media as well to get the word out.
Our November 25 release was a big milestone: all existing AO3 emails have been internationalized and are ready to be translated!
(Our deploy script accidentally bumped us ahead, so this ended up being released as 0.9.445 instead of 0.9.444.)
Our November 30 release focused on changes submitted by first-time contributors to our project!
I’m still am suffering bronchitis. I did some digging in MyChart, because I’ve suffered this bronchitis thing at least once a year for the past few years, and mine and Mr. Loomy’s suspicions were correct: the clinic doctor I saw over the weekend, who was abrupt and didn’t listen to either of us, prescribed me less than half of the dosage of prednisone that I’ve had previously. No wonder I’m not getting better. I went back to the clinic last night, and while the (different!) doctor didn’t say anything bad about what his coworker did, his facial expression made his opinion clear. I’m now on a massive dosage of prednisone that slowly tapers and antibiotics. I tapped out from work again; look, me trying to be better about self care!
If I’m going to be a sickly invalid, I want laudanum. And a trip to the seaside where someone will push me around in a fancy wheelchair. Then more laudanum.
—
Yesterday I turned off the Ask Anonymously option on my Tumblr. I’ve been inundated with spam, porn bots, and unkind-to-hateful messages, and I don’t have the spoons to deal with any of it.