tw: body issues and suicidal ideation

putting this behind a cut because weight/body/food talk (plus "death/suicide is inevitable" thoughts)

( small goal and baby steps )

STEP ONE: set a goal done!

p.s. yes I know I should discuss with my doc. but I don't have the money for an extra doc visit and didn't think of it on Monday, so I can't do that for a few months.