It is my birthdayyyyy

I've been writing! I participated as a creator in the Fandom Trumps Hate auction and now I'm working with the winner to create something awesome. It's a time travel Teen Wolf fic, because there can never be enough of them haha

I recently bought a big notebook and some colorful gel pens and it's my writing journal now, as opposed to my journal-journal/diary.

I'm getting better sleep since we changed Meg's meds back to twice a day rather than once a day and she's no longer staying up all night or waking at 2am every morning and not allowing ANYONE ELSE to sleep ever. So that's good.

That's about it.

snowflake challenge 6: Share your favourite piece of original canon.

North is an episode about friendship and forgiveness and father/sonhood. About feeling alone until you've got your buddy. God, it's so good. It's like this little encapsulation of what the show means to me.
If you never watch any other episode of Due South, watch North.
(edited to add) Ray and Fraser are in a plane crash and then stranded in the wilderness.
Fraser is temporary blind so he has to rely on Ray (Vecchio). The ghost of Ray's father tells him to 'cut [Fraser] loose'. But Ray is a better man than his father was.
There's a whole plot about catching a fugitive, too, but that's not as important as...
There's SINGING. There's singing while RAY CARRIES FRASER over his back. It's just wonderful.
It's a wonderful episode.


You can watch it for free on youtube.

Since this is the start of a new year, this challenge will be to set your own goals!

* My biggest (and possibly easiest if I keep up with the others) writing goal for the year is to write 150k words, and I'm keeping track of that and getting help with it through getyourwordsout

* Finish WIPs: Woo Me Harder, Tiny Alpha and A Cup of Living Gold for sure. I have a few others but those are most important.

* Write more flashfic! It feels like I've forgotten how to write short things. But I can do it! I've done it before and I'll do it again. Helpful with this are fan_flashworks and Year of the OTP on Tumblr

* Move more. I don't have specifics on this one, which will make it harder to fulfill, but even if it's just going outside and walking around the yard, I should definitely move more. Maybe I can talk my mother into letting us get another dog.

* Reach out to loved ones (family and friends, too) more often. I've been trying to text my son first instead of waiting until he texts or calls me. I'm usually worried he's too busy (he's in trade school and holding down a job, too) but a text won't throw him off.

And the hardest one:

* Look over the editing notes I got back on my book. I did write a book like two years ago, and sent it to a writer who knows her shit, but once I got the notes back I did not even look at them. To be honest, I'm kinda scared to.
If my book is good and salvageable, that means a lot of damn work, after editing, to get it published and marketing it. (It's M/M and is supposed to be self-published eventually) The marketing part is what I'm most scared about. I'm getting anxious right now just thinking about it. I get amazingly horrible panic and anxiety, on top of a lot of other things.
If my book is NOT good, if I look at the notes and see so much work I'd be better off starting from scratch, then... that'd be kinda okay. SO I guess more than anything I have a fear of success and what it might take to succeed. lolsob

I really wish I could write faster. I feel like the slowest writer alive. Or dead. Ever.

Wow, everyone is so organized and have great New Year posts but I am like... um.

I wrote 105k and posted very little of it, read a bunch of fic I didn't keep track of, read very few books (like maybe 3 books total if GoodReads is to be believed) and basically sat on my ass getting more and more lazy? I've watched Murder She Wrote and Midsomer Murders over and over again for background noise. Listened to a lot of dubstep as, again, background noise.

In 2025 I'm going to write more (I hope) and go to the goddamn eye doctor for bifocals (finally). Oh and the dentist because cavities, woe.

Thank you for yesterday and the hugs. I feel better today I think. Maybe. I keep having intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideation, but it's not anything I haven't dealt with before. I just need to dig out the old light therapy thing. Light. That's all I need probably. I don't know, is worsening depression part of perimenopause? I should probably look that up.

things are looking up. well, mental-health-wise, anyway. yay?

I wrote a little this week. star trek aos which hasn't been my thing for a very long time, but hey, why not?

dinner tonight is grilled cheese and tomato bisque.

it's finally cooling down a little!

crawling out of my depression hole

it's going much better now

wrote some words!

and now I go away again but just wanted to check in.

I *think* I *might* be able to get Meg's pullups from a place with her Medicaid. I think. Not yet but soon. And then hopefully I will be able to stop begging people for money.

In the meantime, I've been reading a lot, not writing much of anything. I want to but my brain is too stressed.

thank you to everyone who commented to me or just sent hugs. I appreciate it so much <333