![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
the world itself is the bad dream
(title from The Bell Jar, cause I'm feeling obvious)
Been feeling really crappy[1] for the past few days. Don't know why, exactly[2]. It's possibly the med I tried last week but you'd think that would be over with by now, especially since I only took it for 3 days. But anyway.
I am depressed. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being 'it's great to be alive' and 1 means I need a hospital setting where my shoelaces are taken, I'd go with 1.39 as my number.
DISTRACTIONS WELCOME.
Also, I'd like to say that I'm so sick of people using the word 'depressed' when they aren't actually depressed, because then when the word is used properly, it reads as a very weak, watered-down description of what it truly is.
I've let Mom know how bad it is, so she's watching me. In case you were worried. So don't worry.
[1] understatement
[2] so sick of blaming everything on my brain weasels - yes, I do know that 'random bouts of depression' comes with the bipolar territory, but it makes me feel so helpless when that's the ~only reason. I want something concrete I can, idk, SHOOT. something other than my own head, I mean. oh, haha, probably shouldn't say that in the same post where I'm alluding to suicide, right?
Been feeling really crappy[1] for the past few days. Don't know why, exactly[2]. It's possibly the med I tried last week but you'd think that would be over with by now, especially since I only took it for 3 days. But anyway.
I am depressed. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being 'it's great to be alive' and 1 means I need a hospital setting where my shoelaces are taken, I'd go with 1.39 as my number.
DISTRACTIONS WELCOME.
Also, I'd like to say that I'm so sick of people using the word 'depressed' when they aren't actually depressed, because then when the word is used properly, it reads as a very weak, watered-down description of what it truly is.
I've let Mom know how bad it is, so she's watching me. In case you were worried. So don't worry.
[1] understatement
[2] so sick of blaming everything on my brain weasels - yes, I do know that 'random bouts of depression' comes with the bipolar territory, but it makes me feel so helpless when that's the ~only reason. I want something concrete I can, idk, SHOOT. something other than my own head, I mean. oh, haha, probably shouldn't say that in the same post where I'm alluding to suicide, right?
no subject
My recent suicidal post is locked, but now you can read it if you're not worried about being triggered.
no subject
It's good sometimes to see someone else feel the same as you have or do, but it sucks in other ways. I'm sorry you were/are in so much pain.
I am doing better today, and yesterday, though I am having bouts of massive irritability. But it's better to snap at loved ones than snap entirely, right? Ugh.
I welcome you to my circle. Hi!