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I started observing in actual classrooms last Friday and went back today for another three hours of observation. It will take me 10 weeks to get enough hours the way I'm going, but that's fine.

I wrote a post about it last week, but I made it private. It was mainly about the achievement gap and how horrendous it is. I threw in some social justice and religion. I don't know why I made it private, I just did. I didn't really come up with any good answers and it mainly was me flailing at the system and society and how fucking pissed I am that there's a remedial English class at the local high school full of minority children who can barely read. Who are in 12th grade and are expected to graduate.

Okay, I'm not going to get into that again because I don't have the answers and it just frustrates me.

Yesterday I got through my tests and essay okay. The tests were easier than the essay.

Really bummed about not being eligible for food stamps anymore. Meg is still eligible, but I'm not, and it brings our total to about $129(?) for the month. Not a lot. And I'm still trying to pay bills with Meg's SSI check which, as you might recall, got cut awhile back. If I could work, I would. It's just not possible.

I don't know how I've gotten this far with school without having a breakdown so far. (I keep waiting for it to happen, but I know I shouldn't think like that.) But I make myself go and do homework and try my best. I know I can't rely heavily on motivation, because that comes and goes. I just have to do it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You've got serious tenacity. Keep up the fine work. Stubbornness will get you pretty far in life when other avenues are exhausted. <3

Yes! I just have to *remember* that I'm stubborn so I keep at it. :D

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That is an excellent thought re: motivation, bb. You just keep on doing what you're doing! Achievement gap and finances are hugely depressing, agreed, but try not to dwell right now? You first and everyone living on spaghetti for as long as it takes. So many hugs! You're doing great. Also, I miss you!

Oh, bb, I miss you too! <3 When do you get back?

Tuesday evening! :)

yay! talk to you then, bb. <3

*hugs!*

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*hugs*

Thank you. :)