green | (no subject)

this month is a struggle. the house needs some important repairs (plumbing, rotting wood on the ramp to be replaced, stuff like that) and mom and I are scrambling trying to figure out where to get the money from. that on top of groceries and bills (again) and it's like. what. I can't ask for money anymore. I mean, I can. I can and I probably will but right now I'm not.

I thought about starting a gofundme but I don't think I will. I don't know. mom is so stressed. I'm so stressed. meg is fine lol. I'm worried about getting too much money on a gofundme and then the government crashing on me. I'm worried about not getting enough and... just not having enough. I don't know.

and I'm so mad at myself, I see so many of my friends making money from their writing and I'm not. I have tried but I can't get more than 20k words of an original thing out so far, and I can't do nonfiction. am I not trying hard enough? I feel like such a failure.

this is why I don't update. all my updates are depressing.

paypal (okay so I'm just putting the link here)

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*hugs*

I don't do paypal, but if you do amazon, I'll be happy to send you necessities through amazon.

*hug* I added a few things to here, but I don't normally shop for groceries via amazon so I wasn't sure what to look for/what to find. https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/POIYULL2QUI0?ref_=wl_share

I just sent you some stuff; hopefully it won't take too long to get there. *hugs*

Thank you!

I want to send you a gift card but amazon isn't filling out your email address for me. Which address would you like me to make it out to?

Sending you hugs btw. <3

Oh gosh, thank you so much <333

It's anthony.melissa AT rocketmail.com

and let me add, just ignore the big things on it! I was just playing around with some of it.

Also, you are not a failure.

You are not depressing (although you may be depressed).

Life is hard for a lot of people right now, including me, and we get it. You are not burdening us by telling us the truth of what it's like to be you right now.

*extra hugs*

You are not a failure as a writer because you can't write 50K words to order or whatever.

Hoping for the best for you and your family.

Thank you. <333

Writing is hard enough at the best of times, without putting that kind of pressure on yourself (or being under that kind of pressure)! *hugs and hugs*

*hugs* <333