(no subject)

[green]

I feel like apologizing for being so crazy. I've been apologizing to my mom.

I've been almost nonstop crying since I switched from lithium to Lamictal. It's terrible. I'm calling the doc tomorrow.

Today I'm trying to watch tv instead of playing video games, which is what I've been doing for months now.

I want to write so badly. But I can't think.

Comments

[mecurtin]

In the first 6 months of getting serious treatment for depression, I never spent more than 2 weeks on any single pharmaceutical mix. We were spinning the PDR like a roulette wheel.

This was 20 years ago, and there are better meds now. But this is still what you sometimes have to do, because brain chemistry is incredibly complex and individual. Back then, I thought that by now researchers would at least have a prototype of a "total brain chemistry" machine, something huge and hellishly expensive looking maybe like an MRI machine, that you'd stick your head in and it would make noises for a while and then a printout would emerge, saying what your personal brain chemistry was like and what meds would work for you.

But no. It's still trial and error and trial. Stick with it, they'll probably come up with a combo that actually works for you. You can also PM me if you like -- I've been there, done that, and know that it does (or can) get better. Which doesn't mean that I'm no longer on meds, Better Living Through Chemistry is my lifelong motto.