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hugs? :D?
Apparently the way to bring on a mixed state is to stop taking your meds at the same time you are about to get your period.
I am so stupid.
And despite being stupid and bringing it on myself, I will still ask for hugs because jesus fucking christ do I need them.
I have been wanting to make a post for weeks about how bad I'm doing, but I was paranoid that no one would care and also that I didn't want to bring anyone down or have people talk about me behind my back.
I am not at the hurting myself stage, and I haven't obsessed over planning lately, so that is okay. I am obsessing over people not liking me instead, and also fictional real people.
Talking about it does not help, because I'm obsessing over things that do not matter at all in the real world, as some kind of cover up to what's going on in my brain. However, I am still sobbing and being ridiculous over these things that don't matter because I am crazy.
And I am trying to stay focused on the things that don't matter because when I focus on the big problems in my life I just start thinking about how I want to die. SO I'm not doing that.
Anyway, this is just to check in and ask for some support because I rely on other people to make me feel better 'cause I can't do it for myself at all.
I have played 76 games of spider solitaire in the past few days. This is helping me keep my mind off my crazy a little.
So anyway. Hugs would be nice. Unless I just don't post enough for anyone to remember who I am or whatever. Thank you for putting up with me when I'm not sane.
I am so stupid.
And despite being stupid and bringing it on myself, I will still ask for hugs because jesus fucking christ do I need them.
I have been wanting to make a post for weeks about how bad I'm doing, but I was paranoid that no one would care and also that I didn't want to bring anyone down or have people talk about me behind my back.
I am not at the hurting myself stage, and I haven't obsessed over planning lately, so that is okay. I am obsessing over people not liking me instead, and also fictional real people.
Talking about it does not help, because I'm obsessing over things that do not matter at all in the real world, as some kind of cover up to what's going on in my brain. However, I am still sobbing and being ridiculous over these things that don't matter because I am crazy.
And I am trying to stay focused on the things that don't matter because when I focus on the big problems in my life I just start thinking about how I want to die. SO I'm not doing that.
Anyway, this is just to check in and ask for some support because I rely on other people to make me feel better 'cause I can't do it for myself at all.
I have played 76 games of spider solitaire in the past few days. This is helping me keep my mind off my crazy a little.
So anyway. Hugs would be nice. Unless I just don't post enough for anyone to remember who I am or whatever. Thank you for putting up with me when I'm not sane.
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MORE HUGS.
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