hugs? :D?

[green]

Apparently the way to bring on a mixed state is to stop taking your meds at the same time you are about to get your period.

I am so stupid.

And despite being stupid and bringing it on myself, I will still ask for hugs because jesus fucking christ do I need them.

I have been wanting to make a post for weeks about how bad I'm doing, but I was paranoid that no one would care and also that I didn't want to bring anyone down or have people talk about me behind my back.

I am not at the hurting myself stage, and I haven't obsessed over planning lately, so that is okay. I am obsessing over people not liking me instead, and also fictional real people.

Talking about it does not help, because I'm obsessing over things that do not matter at all in the real world, as some kind of cover up to what's going on in my brain. However, I am still sobbing and being ridiculous over these things that don't matter because I am crazy.

And I am trying to stay focused on the things that don't matter because when I focus on the big problems in my life I just start thinking about how I want to die. SO I'm not doing that.

Anyway, this is just to check in and ask for some support because I rely on other people to make me feel better 'cause I can't do it for myself at all.

I have played 76 games of spider solitaire in the past few days. This is helping me keep my mind off my crazy a little.

So anyway. Hugs would be nice. Unless I just don't post enough for anyone to remember who I am or whatever. Thank you for putting up with me when I'm not sane.

Comments

[the_wanlorn]

♥

[green]

♥♥♥

[gloss]

I give you all the hugs I have, and I've got long, long arms like a gorilla, and I kiss the top of your head again and again.

In other words, man, I really like you. I love you in the non-internet way actually and I'm sorry I suck at reaching out. You're frequently in my thoughts and I think you're awesome.

[green]

*hugs back so much* I think you're awesome, too. Thank you.

I am so happy for the appropriateness of this icon

[waketosleep]

Hugs! And friendly gropes too, if you're into those.

Re: I am so happy for the appropriateness of this icon

[green]

I'm totally into friendly gropes! Thank you, bb. ♥

[crypto]

I am over here, still caring and liking you, and offering the hugs I wish I could give you in person or through our monitors. You are probably forgetting right now how awesome you are, but we'll remember for you.

[green]

*HUGS* Thank you.

[rainkatt]

Hugs, sweetie. I'm being a little crazy myself right now; that doesn't help you any, but it makes me want to somehow magically help everyone else. Not that I can... /crazy

MORE HUGS.

[green]

I hug you for being awesome and I send good thoughts for your crazy, too. *lots of hugs*

[wolfshark]

*hugs*

[elucidate_this]

*hugs tight*

oh babygirl. i hope you feel better soon.

[noxie]

*big hugs* I hope you feel better soon!

[flyingcarpet]

Hey, you. I'm totally not on top of my DW reading list, and so I didn't see this when you actually needed the hugs, but... they're always good, right?

*HUGS*

Hope things are looking up for you.

[raaven]

I care!And I hug you!

I'm sorry, I suck at keeping up with peoples journals, but that's all about my own weird issues, not a lack of interest or caring.