on triggers and warnings
I am getting so fucking irate at people over this warnings wank. Seriously. Livid.
What people aren't getting, or aren't wanting to get, is that people are actually HURT over getting triggered. Triggers aren't like squicks, they're HURTFUL.
An example: My dad was triggered by Desert Storm. He had PTSD from his time in Vietnam. After Desert Storm started, he couldn't eat or sleep, and reverted to self-medicating with alcohol and other drugs. It's what broke apart my parents' marriage. So, you know, war was his trigger.
That's what triggers do. Sometimes they knock you down so far you can't see any way out of it. I have PTSD too, and I've been triggered unknowingly. I didn't know what put me down so far. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, all I could do was RP (badly) for days on end. I had to actually talk it out to figure what had made me panic. It turned out it was something my girlfriend had done, unknowingly, and it freaked me out so badly I was put into hypervigilance - jumping at every sound, unable to eat or sleep, like a prolonged panic attack - for about two weeks. I lost that relationship because I couldn't even TALK about what was wrong. (and if you are reading this, Lisa, I love you and I'm so, so sorry)
Triggers can be sounds, tastes, smells. They can also be words. Words are powerful, as any good writer should know.
No, you don't HAVE to put warnings on your fic. There's no fandom police who will come arrest you. You can be a total douchebag and let other people get hurt because you didn't warn. You also open yourself up to fandom coming down on you for not warning.
But why would you want to? Why would you want to actually HURT someone else when it takes two seconds to type out a warning? If it spoils the story, put it in whitetext with 'warnings/spoilers' next to it. HP fandom does this very well.
AND ANOTHER THING.
I am mad as hell over some people saying that![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
impertinence is a "professional victim" or an attention whore. What she did and continues to do is incredibly brave and powerful. That goes for everyone else who has spoken up and said 'hey, I'm a survivor, and here is how you are hurting me'.
I posted about this a couple of days ago talking about my particular triggers, but I privated it shortly after I posted. I didn't want to be talked to the way some people are talking to Imp. I don't want my experiences pat-patted and then trudged all over. Opening up about past abuse is HARD, and it leaves you bare and naked and exposed for the world to see. I've done it before, but I don't feel like doing it again, especially after seeing what's happened to Imp. I'm sorry, but I'm just not that fucking brave.
What people aren't getting, or aren't wanting to get, is that people are actually HURT over getting triggered. Triggers aren't like squicks, they're HURTFUL.
An example: My dad was triggered by Desert Storm. He had PTSD from his time in Vietnam. After Desert Storm started, he couldn't eat or sleep, and reverted to self-medicating with alcohol and other drugs. It's what broke apart my parents' marriage. So, you know, war was his trigger.
That's what triggers do. Sometimes they knock you down so far you can't see any way out of it. I have PTSD too, and I've been triggered unknowingly. I didn't know what put me down so far. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, all I could do was RP (badly) for days on end. I had to actually talk it out to figure what had made me panic. It turned out it was something my girlfriend had done, unknowingly, and it freaked me out so badly I was put into hypervigilance - jumping at every sound, unable to eat or sleep, like a prolonged panic attack - for about two weeks. I lost that relationship because I couldn't even TALK about what was wrong. (and if you are reading this, Lisa, I love you and I'm so, so sorry)
Triggers can be sounds, tastes, smells. They can also be words. Words are powerful, as any good writer should know.
No, you don't HAVE to put warnings on your fic. There's no fandom police who will come arrest you. You can be a total douchebag and let other people get hurt because you didn't warn. You also open yourself up to fandom coming down on you for not warning.
But why would you want to? Why would you want to actually HURT someone else when it takes two seconds to type out a warning? If it spoils the story, put it in whitetext with 'warnings/spoilers' next to it. HP fandom does this very well.
AND ANOTHER THING.
I am mad as hell over some people saying that
impertinence is a "professional victim" or an attention whore. What she did and continues to do is incredibly brave and powerful. That goes for everyone else who has spoken up and said 'hey, I'm a survivor, and here is how you are hurting me'.I posted about this a couple of days ago talking about my particular triggers, but I privated it shortly after I posted. I didn't want to be talked to the way some people are talking to Imp. I don't want my experiences pat-patted and then trudged all over. Opening up about past abuse is HARD, and it leaves you bare and naked and exposed for the world to see. I've done it before, but I don't feel like doing it again, especially after seeing what's happened to Imp. I'm sorry, but I'm just not that fucking brave.
no subject
In all seriousness, what are the official warnings? You know, the official warnings that need to be in place in order to not be a total douchebag and that don't open me up to all fandom coming down onto me for not warning?
What warnings are *official* and where do I go to know what the official "Yer not a douchebag as long as these are up on your fics" list is?
I am asking this in all seriousness. I warn for rape and incest, but if there's an official list that means I can avoid being an official fandom douchebag... point me to that list since I don't know.
There's no fandom police, but obviously there's a way to be an official douchebag, so where is the official list so people *know* how to not be an official fandom douchebag? I assume you know since you know what a total douchebag to fandom is and you have no problem threatening how fandom will come down on total douchebags who don't follow the official fandom list?