Right up until that moment, Bones would have said he'd seen it all. He'd experienced enough in med school, Starfleet Academy, and his stint aboard the Enterprise that he was rather confident in that statement. However, looking at Captain James T. Kirk, he knew it was a lie.
"Wings?" McCoy said, his voice faint with disbelief. "You've sprouted wings?"
"Just get rid of them!" Kirk said. He shuddered and one holy-white feather drifted to the floor.
"I- I haven't been trained for this," McCoy admitted. "I've never even heard of such a thing."
His hand involuntarily moved to stroke Kirk's back, right between the shoulderblades where the wings protruded.
"That tickles," Kirk said. "Stop it."
"Does it hurt?" McCoy asked.
"They're a little heavy," Kirk answered. "They make me walk funny."
McCoy plucked a feather from Kirk's wings and grimaced when Kirk made a squawk of protest. "And that hurts!"
"Sorry, just testing. I guess cutting them off is out of the question."
Kirk frowned. "That would painful, I guess."
"If I can figure out why you've grown them, I can try to reverse the process. Let me scan you."
It took some wrangling to get Kirk's wings in a good position for scanning, but even after all that, McCoy had no idea what was going on.
"Have you changed your diet recently?" he asked. "Started using a new bodywash or shampoo?"
"Oh for god's sake, it's not an allergy," Kirk grumbled.
"Had unprotected sex with non-humanoids?"
"...Maybe."
"That's probably it, then," McCoy answered. He used his best doctor voice.
"Oh my GOD! Are you telling me this is an STD?"
"It's entirely possible. Good going, Romeo."
"I'd rather have space crabs."
"You've had space crabs," McCoy reminded him. "I'll never forget that summer. At least wings don't itch."
McCoy scanned some more and consulted the database. An hour later he said, "Uh huh. It's an STD. Good news is that it goes away in a day or two."
"What am I going to do in the meantime? I can't be seen like this."
"Jim, all of the nursing staff has already seen you, and they gossip like old hens. Especially Rupert, he's a real blabbermouth. By now the whole ship knows about your condition."
Kirk grumbled something to himself.
"What was that?" McCoy asked.
"I said I should never have had sex with a non-humanoid."
WINGFIC!
"Wings?" McCoy said, his voice faint with disbelief. "You've sprouted wings?"
"Just get rid of them!" Kirk said. He shuddered and one holy-white feather drifted to the floor.
"I- I haven't been trained for this," McCoy admitted. "I've never even heard of such a thing."
His hand involuntarily moved to stroke Kirk's back, right between the shoulderblades where the wings protruded.
"That tickles," Kirk said. "Stop it."
"Does it hurt?" McCoy asked.
"They're a little heavy," Kirk answered. "They make me walk funny."
McCoy plucked a feather from Kirk's wings and grimaced when Kirk made a squawk of protest. "And that hurts!"
"Sorry, just testing. I guess cutting them off is out of the question."
Kirk frowned. "That would painful, I guess."
"If I can figure out why you've grown them, I can try to reverse the process. Let me scan you."
It took some wrangling to get Kirk's wings in a good position for scanning, but even after all that, McCoy had no idea what was going on.
"Have you changed your diet recently?" he asked. "Started using a new bodywash or shampoo?"
"Oh for god's sake, it's not an allergy," Kirk grumbled.
"Had unprotected sex with non-humanoids?"
"...Maybe."
"That's probably it, then," McCoy answered. He used his best doctor voice.
"Oh my GOD! Are you telling me this is an STD?"
"It's entirely possible. Good going, Romeo."
"I'd rather have space crabs."
"You've had space crabs," McCoy reminded him. "I'll never forget that summer. At least wings don't itch."
McCoy scanned some more and consulted the database. An hour later he said, "Uh huh. It's an STD. Good news is that it goes away in a day or two."
"What am I going to do in the meantime? I can't be seen like this."
"Jim, all of the nursing staff has already seen you, and they gossip like old hens. Especially Rupert, he's a real blabbermouth. By now the whole ship knows about your condition."
Kirk grumbled something to himself.
"What was that?" McCoy asked.
"I said I should never have had sex with a non-humanoid."