![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
possible triggers: anxiety and the like
I'm still reeling a little over my latest denial for disability benefits. So today I did some research to see what the problem is, exactly. These are just some random notes picked up from around the web, written by people who seem to know what they're talking about. Everything here will be related to my own problems, so please do your own research in addition to this if you aren't my exact mental health twin.
okay, I think I promised good/better news first, so here it is:
So hey, yes, this is the next step for me. I need to get in touch with my attorney. I do have one, in theory, though I've never met any of them in person before - despite it specifically stating on their site that "We take great pride in the fact that our attorneys will meet with you early in the process of your claim, and will remain involved in your case with each level of appeal. Because of this exemplary service, we do not meet our clients for the first time at the hearing." I've only ever talked with them on the phone before, and not an attorney but like, an attorney's helper or assistant or something? Maybe a case manager, idk. She didn't give herself a title, which I found odd.
And, on to the bad news.
*episodes of decompensation. which I have had. (linked is just the most recent and worst case) except, because I wanted to protect my mom and not worry her, I have hidden this shit. without proper documentation from a medical source, it doesn't matter to anyone, because I could just be lying.
*Generally, panic attacks are short, intense episodes of extreme fear or psychological distress. Symptoms may include heart palpitations, shortness of breath, sweating, hyperventilation, choking, paresthesias (a tingling sensation), and a multitude of other symptoms that may lead an individual to think they are dying or going insane.
A panic attack is different from normal feelings of being extremely worried or "stressed out," in that it occurs suddenly, without any warning, and without any way to stop it, and that the level of fear is way out of proportion to the actual situation. Okay, so... what about an inbetween stage? Do those count? Where I'm shaking and crying or trying to hold myself together so I don't shake and cry, while distancing myself/isolating from others in order to keep myself together? Where I feel completely frozen in place, unable to do anything but stay very still within my 'safe place' (my chair in the corner or under the covers), trying desperately not to give in to the unwanted and unhealthy repeating thoughts of fear, worthlessness, or suicide? That's not an attack? That doesn't count in your book? I don't feel like I'm dying, but my brain is telling me that death is the preferred alternative to this HELL. I don't feel like I'm going insane - I'm pretty aware of my level of sanity by now, thanks. Is it better or worse that I just accept insanity now as a matter of course?
*You can get disability benefits if your agoraphobia results in frequent panic attacks (at least one per week) that have resulted in your complete inability to function outside your home. Because agoraphobia is so closely related to panic disorder (many psychiatrists now consider it a form of panic disorder), Social Security evaluates this condition in the same way as it evaluates panic attacks. I think the writer of this passage doesn't know how to construct a sentence. Or they are clueless. Or I don't know jack shit about agoraphobia. JFC, just reading about this shit is making me anxious. MORE anxious. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this... But I hesitate to leave it up to the attorneys, you know?
Heh, this post is a lot shorter than I thought it would be. I really was gonna research more, but now I'm not in a good place. I'm going to call the attorney instead, and hope they know their shit. :\
eta: called the attorney's office and was informed that soon they will put in for an appeal, but that it will take 12-24 months to see a judge. no comment.
okay, I think I promised good/better news first, so here it is:
You have a much better chance of winning disability benefits at the disability hearing than any other step. Unfortunately, it takes a long time to get a hearing date.
So hey, yes, this is the next step for me. I need to get in touch with my attorney. I do have one, in theory, though I've never met any of them in person before - despite it specifically stating on their site that "We take great pride in the fact that our attorneys will meet with you early in the process of your claim, and will remain involved in your case with each level of appeal. Because of this exemplary service, we do not meet our clients for the first time at the hearing." I've only ever talked with them on the phone before, and not an attorney but like, an attorney's helper or assistant or something? Maybe a case manager, idk. She didn't give herself a title, which I found odd.
And, on to the bad news.
*episodes of decompensation. which I have had. (linked is just the most recent and worst case) except, because I wanted to protect my mom and not worry her, I have hidden this shit. without proper documentation from a medical source, it doesn't matter to anyone, because I could just be lying.
*Generally, panic attacks are short, intense episodes of extreme fear or psychological distress. Symptoms may include heart palpitations, shortness of breath, sweating, hyperventilation, choking, paresthesias (a tingling sensation), and a multitude of other symptoms that may lead an individual to think they are dying or going insane.
A panic attack is different from normal feelings of being extremely worried or "stressed out," in that it occurs suddenly, without any warning, and without any way to stop it, and that the level of fear is way out of proportion to the actual situation. Okay, so... what about an inbetween stage? Do those count? Where I'm shaking and crying or trying to hold myself together so I don't shake and cry, while distancing myself/isolating from others in order to keep myself together? Where I feel completely frozen in place, unable to do anything but stay very still within my 'safe place' (my chair in the corner or under the covers), trying desperately not to give in to the unwanted and unhealthy repeating thoughts of fear, worthlessness, or suicide? That's not an attack? That doesn't count in your book? I don't feel like I'm dying, but my brain is telling me that death is the preferred alternative to this HELL. I don't feel like I'm going insane - I'm pretty aware of my level of sanity by now, thanks. Is it better or worse that I just accept insanity now as a matter of course?
*You can get disability benefits if your agoraphobia results in frequent panic attacks (at least one per week) that have resulted in your complete inability to function outside your home. Because agoraphobia is so closely related to panic disorder (many psychiatrists now consider it a form of panic disorder), Social Security evaluates this condition in the same way as it evaluates panic attacks. I think the writer of this passage doesn't know how to construct a sentence. Or they are clueless. Or I don't know jack shit about agoraphobia. JFC, just reading about this shit is making me anxious. MORE anxious. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this... But I hesitate to leave it up to the attorneys, you know?
Heh, this post is a lot shorter than I thought it would be. I really was gonna research more, but now I'm not in a good place. I'm going to call the attorney instead, and hope they know their shit. :\
eta: called the attorney's office and was informed that soon they will put in for an appeal, but that it will take 12-24 months to see a judge. no comment.
no subject
no subject
...except for my uncle. he got it on his first try, the bastard.
no subject
I know that the number of folks with mental illness who get it on the first go is especially low. It's one of those little discussed manifestations of the stigmas against us.