green | (no subject)

There is apparently a new law that Meg's teacher cannot outright say that Meg is having a seizure. The nurse has to come to the room, evaluate, and make that decision. Which means that in non-emergencies, we (Meg's caregivers, who have almost 18 years of experience in dealing with Meg's SEIZURES) cannot have a straight talk about Meg's seizures without scowling and trying to come up with appropriate code words. >:(

I woke up unreasonably angry. It's getting better.

Yesterday I went to the doctor. We discussed the fact that I have lost TWENTY FUCKING POUNDS and that maybe Viibryd's penchant for giving me GI problems is enough of a reason to stop taking it. So we discontinued it.

The rapid cycling was addressed and I am now taking a double dose of Depakote at night. If my mood doesn't smooth out I'll start taking a double dose in the morning, too.

My doctor is friends with a psychologist who just so happens to be taking an office in his building soon. If she ends up taking Medicaid (this is a big IF) I might be going back to therapy sometime in the next couple of months. I casually mentioned this to my mother and got nothing but negativity.

Jerry, who we all know is a loving father who cares and provides for his eldest child in every single way (sorry, if you're new? that's sarcasm), waited until I sent him the receipt for Meg's orthopedic socks (5 pair, $111) to grudgingly send a check for $100 with no note (not even a post-it asking after Meg's health). This is after I had to actually speak with him on the phone and convince him that he really should help me with this expense. Legally he doesn't have to. (I felt so dirty asking him for help, and thinking about it now makes me want to smash his face and then cry for all the bad decisions I've made in my life).

GAH. Okay. Ugh.

Do you ever get the feeling that no matter what you do, no matter how you try to make things better, everything is gradually getting worse and there's no way out and eventually you're just going to lose it completely? Yeah. I need you guys to hold me up right now and I feel really needy and guilty and ridiculous.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*holds you up*
This bad stretch you're currently in really fucking sucks. But it will get better and you'll make it out. SO MUCH LOVE

It is getting better, slowly, I'm just kinda scared. :\

*HUGS*

I hear you 100% on the fear. It immobilizes me so often.

<3333

I got nothing but hugs for you. Caring work is IMO the absolute hardest because you DO care so much and there's so little break or time off. All I can say is that you should absolutely not feel bad or guilty or dirty asking your daughter's FATHER for help - sending a check is trivially EASY compared to what you're doing, as I know you know!

I am really lucky and blessed to have my mom helping me with meg, especially since it's hard to care for her when I can barely care for myself sometimes. :\ But I think that's mostly over. \o/?

*HUGS* THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT, BB. <3

*hugs*

For what it's worth, I don't think you need to feel guilty for asking for help (seriously, $100 for orthopedics is not much to ask) or for feeling needy. Sometimes we all run across things that are too much to handle on our own.

*hugs*

Therapy was good for me. I know it doesn't work for everyone, and it can be hard to find a therapist who works with you -- but it's a choice worth looking into when you can. I'm sorry your mom is negative about it.

♥ ♥ ♥

<333
ty, bb

{{{hugs}}}

thanks, bb. <3

Oh, honey. *hugs* You're not at all ridiculous, that's really tough.

thank you. <3

I'm so sorry to hear you're going though a hard time. Don't feel guilty in the least for asking your ex for some help. It's the very least he could do.

Personally, I think therepy would be a great thing if you can swing it. You are under a lot of stress and that's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm seriously thinking about it myself also due to stress.

<3333

thank you, bb.

*hugs* and much love!

thank you!

I was on Viibryd for about three weeks. (Interjection: my ARNP made all her clients cut all the doses in half, so scaling up in dosages took twice as long, giving the body time to acclimate. She warned me severely of the side-effects.) So I took half of the lowest dose for two weeks, then tried the next highest—which is the "normal" lowest dose. After about two days of that, I was the sickest I've been since the last time I had the flu. Utter misery that lasted for days.

I heard from the ARNP about how one of her patients lost 40 pounds. I have NO IDEA how he (or you) could do that, unless your side effects were different. Because seriously, I couldn't stand upright or walk 15 feet without breaking out in a sweat.

Please keep trying to find something that works for you. It is not right that this drug fucks people up so severely. It's not right that doctors have to dramatically adjust dosages and cross their fingers and pray. I know how you're feeling right now and I'm sorry I'm not more supportive because I can't find it in myself to be of any help, but I wish you the best.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience with it :(

I'm glad to be rid of the Viibryd now.