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made an appointment to see my doc. he had a cancellation so I get to see him tomorrow morning. maybe we can try something new. or maybe he'll put me in the hospital, idk. I really am doing better now though. the weekend was really bad but I'm not having as many intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideations. I'm thinking of calling my therapist too, just to give her a heads up. I just don't want to bother her. but it's her job, I know. I know! I just feel so insignificant like what I'm going through isn't important. also, my mom is still pissed off at me for being depressed because ... idk. she's depressed too and somethingsomething blah blah why don't I talk to her blah blah.