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Okay, so the guy in Miami is a ripoff and his conversions aren't recognized by the majority of the Jewish community. I'm glad I found that out before I paid any money. HOWEVER, I met the most charming Israeli rabbi online who has agreed to help me convert -- for free! We had our first lesson last night. I didn't learn anything I didn't already know, but it was a good basis for our classes. We're doing them over Skype.

The rabbi -- Hillel -- is Masorti, which is the Israeli (and other countries that aren't the US and Canada) equivalent of the Conservative movement.

He told me to save the money I would have paid the other rabbi and save up for a trip to Israel. Which is scary and exciting.

We are not just talking about Jewish stuff, either. He's funny and absolutely charming. He's gotten pretty much my whole life story out of me and I've learned a lot about him, too. He's originally from Canada and made aliyah when he was 19. Like me, he's divorced and has three children. His kids live in Jerusalem. Hillel lives in Netanya and is a full-time pulpit rabbi to a large congregation.

Now that I've completely bored you...

Something is wrong with my cat's leg. She's dragging it and it appears to be broken or out of joint. We're taking her to the vet today. :(

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You need to do the conversion in connection with the Jewish community you want to join. The Reform and Conservative movements each have relatively systematic approaches to conversion, though I don't think Conservative Jews recognize Reform conversions (and Orthodox Jews don't recognize either, though both are valid from the perspective of the Israeli Law of Return and I can explain that paradox if you really want to know!) Both the Reform and Conservative movements have guides to conversion--books they want you to read, how many hours of instruction you should have and what you should know, stuff they want you to commit to, and a ritual involving a religious court of three observant Jews (usually rabbis, though not always) from their movement and a ritual bath or mikveh.

The only way to become a Jew is in relation to a community of people who recognize the authority of the beit din (religious court) who does the ritual with you and who believe that you do X,Y,Z to join the Jewish people. There will always be someone who doesn't approve of the way you did it, because that's the craziness you get into when you pursue Judaism.

I don't think that not asking for money makes the rabbi more legit, necessarily. Where would you do the beit din and mikveh? In Israel? Does this rabbi have a congregation? This post made me realize what a vulnerable situation you're in, so far away from a Jewish community.

I definitely want to convert Conservative. I've thought about it a lot. I have a friend who converted Conservative and is now in the process of converting Orthodox, so more options are open to him.

I would do the official stuff in Israel, yes. He has a congregation of about 150 in Netanya.

It's been very hard to find my fit, especially when my Jewish community is online. I mean, I think of you as part of my 'community' and I am so grateful for that. I will move eventually to a place with a large Jewish community (where, I don't know yet, neither do I know when) and that will help me a lot. Right now I can't do it, though.

The main reason I'm not encouraging you to convert Orthodox now is that they won't allow you to convert if you can't easily live a Jewish life. It seems like you have figured out a way to keep kosher--you've shown a lot of ingenuity and committment. I hope the closest Jewish community will reach out to you and support you. In some ways it might make sense to convert through a rabbi who is closer who is a respected member of a more local community.

Not completely kosher - I need new dishes/utensils and pots and pans, and my home needs to be kashered, but I'm doing what I can. Going vegetarian is a big part of that.

The closest Conservative congregation is lay-led. I've tried to get in touch with the rabbi at the closest chabad, but I haven't heard back yet.