Find Out First Hand (Gerard/Lyn-Z, NC-17)

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This is for the FISTING square for my kink_bingo card. So, um, there's fisting? This is way out of my comfort zone so it's not very good, but hey. I did it!




He was on his hands and knees, and she was behind him with the bottle of lube and her amazing hands. She pumped three fingers in and out of him, and he bit his lip, fighting the urge to ride them.

"You're awfully quiet," she said. "Saving your voice for when I make you scream for me?"

"I won't scream," he said. "I just... I want it."

"I know you do, baby," she said, and pulled her fingers out just a little to add a fourth.

"Jesus fuck," he said under his breath. "It's tight."

"I know," she said, rubbing his back soothingly with her other hand. "But you can do this."

One of the best things about being married to her was her willingness to do anything. If he said he wanted to jump out of a plane, she'd be right there beside him. Not that he would. He wasn't that crazy. But this? This she would do. She even said she wanted to, wanted to see him writhe and squirm on her hand, wanted to give him what he needed.

"Linds?" he said softly. "I love you."

She slowly pushed her fingers inside him, and he knew she was smiling. "I love you too."

He fisted his hands in the sheets and tried to breathe through it, like he'd read he should. Fisting required research, and that didn't include bad porn. He'd read a lot about it before asking her to do it. The internet was an amazing treasure chest of advice.

His cock was hard, harder than he'd ever been in his life. It twitched and he tightened around her fingers.

"Try not to do that," she said. "It makes it too tight. I don't want to hurt you."

He swallowed hard. "Right."

"Just breathe. Breathe with me," she said, and started breathing slowly and steadily. Matching her breaths was easy, she was making this so easy, and he loved her even more for it.

She twisted her fingers slowly, and he could feel himself opening up for her. He felt so full, so full, but he knew this was still just the beginning. Breathing with her became hypnotic, and he felt himself slipping into a place where there was only him and her, only her hand.

Liquid - lube or sweat - trickled down his thighs.

"You're so fucking beautiful, Gee," she whispered, and crooked her fingers. They brushed against his prostate and he tightened around her again with a moan. There was no burning, not like he'd expected, but it was more like a pleasant warmth.

"Almost there," she said. "Just breathe, we can do this."

He felt her tuck her thumb under her other fingers. He felt her pause and add more lube. He listened to her breathing and tried to keep his own breathing as slow as hers, but he suddenly had no air at all and she was pushing, opening him up further than he'd ever been.

"Breathe, baby. Breathe," she said, although she sounded a little breathless herself.

He whimpered as her hand slipped inside, a different kind of pressure than he'd ever experienced. And she was there, her hand coming to make a fist inside him.

"Just like that," she whispered. "Do you want me to fuck you like this? Fuck you with my fist?"

He was panting now, his cock hard and leaking. "Please," he said, clenching his hands in the bedding. "Please."

She moved slowly at first, testing him, but when he begged again she went faster, fucking him harder.

"Fuck," he said, his voice strangled. He moved with her, rocking back on his knees and meeting her thrusts. "Jesus fucking Christ."

He could feel her, up to her slim forearm inside him, and it felt as if he was going to be fucked inside out. He was so full, and she was giving him more and more.

"Want to come, baby?" she asked, wrapping her other hand around his cock.

It didn't take much, just a touch, and he was coming in her hand and clenching around her wrist.

He didn't feel her pull out, but when he came back to himself she was wiping him down with a warm washcloth.

"Messy, but fun," she said.

That pretty much summed up their entire relationship.

END